Saturday, November 22, 2008

Mr Barker (WA) Spits


Here they are, the two winners from the Mt Barker heat of the Australasian Cherry Pip Spitting Championships: Stewart and Shaz.
In keeping with the relaxed atmosphere of the spit-off, no second names were taken and this may have been because the comp was fast and furious.


On the left, Stewart smiles because the money is his, $100.00, for spitting a cherry pip not much further than the winner of the Girl Guides section. That brave young woman stood up to the line and banged a pip over 3 metres, with no wind assistance, no shove from behind, no lurch forward, but almost 2 metres further than the lady down at the bowling club.

There he is, Stewart, spitting for all he is worth - roughly $100.00 - and hoping against hope that on the day of the GlobeVista Grand Final, Manjimup November 13th, that he will be the only spitter to turn up.
Scott Drummond, a man with a second name, a pen, and a clip board, knows all about how to win. He coached last years' success story and will accompany him to the Australasian Final in Cromwell (NZ) on December 6th.
Scott has magnanimously given up the coaching role and will manage the touring party, hoping to keep their heads while all about them New Zealanders are loosing theirs.

The almost final spitter on the night was The Big Man, The Champ, Mark "Call me Sal" Vitler.
After Scott had called for the children to be removed for fear of drowing in a Vitler Gob, Mark stood up, stood back, launched himself, and spat into the next shire.
It was awesome, it was unbelievable, it was portentous.
All New Zealand should ready itself. This man, as he draws back to gather the necessary backdraught, could suck up a small island off the west coast, a medium sized mountain range, or a mob of unshorn sheep.


Ladies, gentlemen, small noisey people, prepare yourselves, the competition has begun.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Get ready!

Oh, yes, the spitting season is warming up.
Already the great Mark Vitler, Australian Champion, soon to be Australasian Champ, maybe World Champ, possibly the Greatest Champ of All Time, is in training.
On his farm out of Mt Barker, nestled under the Porongurup Range, each and every day Mark begins his morning with lung expansion exercises, cheek and tongue extension exercises and hip thrust manoeuvres.
All are designed to make sure he brings the Australasian Cherry Pip Spitting Trophy home to WA, to West Australia, where it began and belongs.
For too long the New Zealanders have .... ok, it's only a year, but that's too long, a week would be too long.
Word around town is that Mark's manager, the unofficial Porongurup mayor, Scott Drummond, will be joining him in New Zealand, along with his personal trainer. That's Mark's trainer, not Scott's, Scott can't be trained, for anything.
The three warriors will travel to Cromwell, NZ, for the New Zealand Cherry Stone Spitting Championships on Saturday December 6th.
No doubt, once in town, they will be subjected to the usual: endless hospitality, goodwill, generous gift giving, all designed to knock them off their game.
Local Cromwell promotions guru, Terry Emmitt, said this year's event would be held in the town mall, a delightful venue with it's own internal creek. Cromwellians not only know how to spit, they know how to design a mall.
Last year's champ, the youthful and extravagant, Michael Robertson, has, hopefully, completed his university studies and is gainfully employed by an organisation that has no idea what it has let itself in for.

This blog will keep you posted.
If you have any questions, keep them to yourself.

ps: Probably worth noting - this year's Manjimup Cherry Harmony Festival will be held on Saturday December 13th and 14th. News to hand from local growers is that it could be a bumper season.

Courtney "Cherry Intern" Monahan, Jon "Blow Hard" Doust, and Ian "Radio Man" Blackley, on MMM, Bunbury.