Saturday, November 22, 2008

Mr Barker (WA) Spits


Here they are, the two winners from the Mt Barker heat of the Australasian Cherry Pip Spitting Championships: Stewart and Shaz.
In keeping with the relaxed atmosphere of the spit-off, no second names were taken and this may have been because the comp was fast and furious.


On the left, Stewart smiles because the money is his, $100.00, for spitting a cherry pip not much further than the winner of the Girl Guides section. That brave young woman stood up to the line and banged a pip over 3 metres, with no wind assistance, no shove from behind, no lurch forward, but almost 2 metres further than the lady down at the bowling club.

There he is, Stewart, spitting for all he is worth - roughly $100.00 - and hoping against hope that on the day of the GlobeVista Grand Final, Manjimup November 13th, that he will be the only spitter to turn up.
Scott Drummond, a man with a second name, a pen, and a clip board, knows all about how to win. He coached last years' success story and will accompany him to the Australasian Final in Cromwell (NZ) on December 6th.
Scott has magnanimously given up the coaching role and will manage the touring party, hoping to keep their heads while all about them New Zealanders are loosing theirs.

The almost final spitter on the night was The Big Man, The Champ, Mark "Call me Sal" Vitler.
After Scott had called for the children to be removed for fear of drowing in a Vitler Gob, Mark stood up, stood back, launched himself, and spat into the next shire.
It was awesome, it was unbelievable, it was portentous.
All New Zealand should ready itself. This man, as he draws back to gather the necessary backdraught, could suck up a small island off the west coast, a medium sized mountain range, or a mob of unshorn sheep.


Ladies, gentlemen, small noisey people, prepare yourselves, the competition has begun.

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